Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Holy F*ck

If you thought it was bad last time, take a look at what my second laser treatment did:

I'm one happy-fucking-camper.

Monday, July 14, 2008


I about freaked out today when I found a new piece for my Dish-With-Recipe collection (at Goodwill, for $5.99 - awesome). It's from 1983 (really, who doesn't love the 80s?), and is still beautiful and lovely. It joins the apple pie, macaroni and cheese, and taco salad dishes that I've acquired. And I love it:

Just for fun - Tucker talking to his daddy. And yes, he is always this happy when he talks to Scout:

After obtaining a blogger crush on this girl, I've started embroidering. Not that I have time to embroider. But I have the tea towels, four books with iron on patterns, and the delusion that I will have time to make everyone's Christmas presents by, well, Christmas. Yeah.

Last but certainly not least - I met one of my favorite bloggers yesterday for dinner in San Antonio. My children were squirmy, the food was so-so, but the company was amazing. I could have talked to her for sixteen more hours if I didn't have to make the three hour drive home. She has a warm smile and the ability to make me feel comfortable (don't you love people like that?). She doesn't seem shocked by much, has a great laugh, and she seems to just get me. I'm sure anyone watching us from another table would have guessed that we had been friends since childhood. And she even paid for dinner (which of course gives me the excuse to hang out with her again - so I can return the favor). So thanks, AlliCadem, for a wonderful evening. :)

Monday, July 07, 2008

Excuse me, ma'am. Your vagina is showing.

So it's been about two weeks since I quit smoking, and I'm feeling really good. The problem with the medication that's helping me to quit (Chantix) is that I'm sleepy all day long (whether I take a nap or not) and wide awake at night. It's not working with my schedule to say the least (but hey, I'm not smoking either).

Tonight I've been tossing, turning, and thinking about a lady I saw at the pool the other day. I don't know what's more disturbing - the fact that she was wearing what she was wearing, or the fact that I can't get it out of my mind. You decide.

I'm the last person to say that there should be some kind of code for who can or cannot wear bikinis. I'm sure if there were such a code, I would be one of the first to be excluded. However, I do wear one from time to time. My theory: A one-piece doesn't hide the fat. So to hell with it - I'm going to get a better tan.

Well, as Scout Jr was swimming with a friend of hers, I was holding Tucker and soaking up the sun with a friend of mine. A woman walked past me in what seemed to be a decent bathing suit from the front: A basic black bikini. However, as she continued walking by me, my mouth dropped open and I could not believe what I saw. From the side view, her bikini was extremely high cut and her lower abdomen had some rolls that poked out quite far. The combination of the two exposed her Paul Bunyan (don't make me spell that one out for you). I am telling you - I could tell what number blade she used to trim. Seriously, it was that bad.

I had some conflicting thoughts. Should I tell her that her vagina is...um. Wait, how do you tell someone that their privates are hanging out? Does she know that she should have just left the bottom half of her bikini at home? But maybe she honestly doesn't realize? Maybe she adjusted the suit just right at home, and by the time she got to the pool, it was all jacked up and inappropriate?

Needless to say, I didn't tell the woman about the situation south of her belly button. I mean really. I can't imagine walking up to someone and saying, "Excuse me, ma'am. Your vagina is showing."

No, wouldn't happen. But I really wish I could get it out of my mind and get some sleep!

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

I Got It

Thanks for all of the good wishes; I got the job! I'll be teaching eighth grade Career and Investigation (don't ask me what that means quite yet - I have training in a couple of weeks). All I know is that it is computer based and that every student in the school will be in my class at some point.

The interview wasn't what I would have called incredibly successful. At one point, I started rambling and repeating myself, and then said, "Now that was eloquent, wasn't it?" Luckily, the principal found me charming and a "perfect fit". He called me on the phone today to welcome me aboard. It's comforting to have someone that seems so genuinely kind.

Argh. I guess that means I have to get some new clothes. :)