What Exactly do You Mean by "Faith Based"?

At the request of my aunt Penny and my father, I'm actually making an effort to blog today.

I was telling my aunt on the phone the other day that hatred makes for good writing - and hatred really isn't what I've been experiencing - which means lack of good writing material. When I lived in Germany, I guess I had great writing material.

I mildly dislike how ghetto Killeen is, I really dislike going to WalMart at any time of the day other than midnight, and it gets old that Scout is always in the field. But I don't hate anything. My life is good. I love my job, love our home, and love the prospect of having a child in the next *six* weeks. So it makes for blah style writing (or no writing at all).

I may need some advice, though. I'm pretty sure I'll go with my gut on this one, but feel free to put your two cents in.

This adoption agency that we've chosen didn't say anything about faith when we went in for the consultation. However, after looking through the paperwork, I've seen mission statement type things that say, "We are a faith based agency...blah, blah, blah".

So even though both Scout and I were raised in religious homes (his dad is a Preacher, for heaven's sake), neither one of us have the desire to go to church. We don't believe or disbelieve in the Bible. We celebrate Christmas, but more in the Santa Clause is Coming to Town way (as opposed to Because Christ was Born). We celebrate Easter because of the bunnies, not because of the resurrection.

So I put down N/A for religion. I have a problem saying that I'm Protestant if I'm not (for fuck's sake, isn't that a lie?). Scout had a slight problem putting N/A, but didn't really want to put Protestant either.

But now I'm feeling like this private arrangement we made with the birth mother has somehow turned into this nightmarish judgement of whether we are good enough. Should I be honest (like the Bible tells me to), or lie in order for this "faith based" adoption agency to approve me as a decent, caring, responsible human being? And what the fuck? You could at least tell me what faith it is! I don't even know if Protestant would be the right answer!

.32

I came home yesterday to a .32 H&R (whatever the hell that is) revolver at my back door. I let the dogs inside and glanced over, thinking that the neighbor boys mistakenly discarded their toy. As I picked it up, however, I knew by its weight that it wasn't a toy. I called Scout and he sternly told me to lock myself inside the house, call the cops, and wait for him to get home.

Him and the cops arrived at the same time, and when we went outside, there were things I didn't notice because of the absolute shock I was in the first time I went out there. Someone's sweatshirt had been ripped off, and a brick from our fire pit had been knocked over. There was also a holster laying on the other side of the yard. I wish I could have been a fly on the wall so I knew why in the HELL someone felt compelled to leave a gun in our yard.

The gun ended up not being loaded, and all the dogs were fine. I'd like to think that my sweet Daisy flipped the switch when she saw a stranger in the yard, chased him (causing him to trip over the fire pit), got a hold of his sweatshirt as he climbed the fence, and caused him to drop his gun before escaping to the other side.

It's more probable that someone just threw the gun over the fence in an attempt to get rid of evidence, but it makes me feel better to consider the possibility that someone is walking around with a huge chunk out of his or her ass.

Adoption Update

Scout and I are in the process of filling out the most ridiculous adoption questionnaire, consisting of 126 extremely intrusive questions (and most of them have multiple questions disguised as one. It's more like 399 questions).

My favorite? Number 66 (particularly the last two questions):

How does your spouse display affection? How would you describe your sexual relationship? Who most initiates sex?

I owe a beer to whoever can come up with the best/funniest/most inappropriate answers for these questions. Big Dick, I'm pullin' for you.

Just for Fun (Via Gunnar's Mom)

The old priest lay dying in the hospital. For years, he had faithfully served the people of the nation's capital. He motioned for his nurse to come near.

"Yes, Father?" said the nurse.

"I would really like to see Senator's Ted Kennedy and Hillary Clinton before I die," whispered the priest.

"I'll see what I can do, Father" replied the nurse.

The nurse sent the request to the Senate and waited for a response. Soon the word arrived; Senators Kennedy and Clinton would be delighted to visit the priest.

As they went to the hospital, Hilary commented to Teddy, "I don't know why the old priest wants to see us, but it will certainly will help our images and might even get me elected President. After all, I'm IN IT TO WIN IT."

Kennedy agreed--it was a good thing.

When they arrived at the priest's room, the priest took Ted's hand in his
right hand and Hilary's hand in his left. There was silence and a look of serenity on the old priest's face.

Finally Senator Kennedy spoke. "Father, of all the people you could have chosen, why did you choose us to be with you as you near the end?"

The old priest slowly replied, "I have always tried to pattern my life after our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ."

"Amen" said Teddy.

"Amen" said Hillary.

The old priest continued...

"He died between two lying thieves. I would like to do the same."

Our Little Man

Today I threw up in my mouth when I found out how much lawyer fees would be adding up to in the next few months. Luckily, Scout handed this to me right before we walked in for our appointment:



And guess what? The birth mother told Scout it would be fine for me to be present in the delivery room. Priceless.

Mossy Oak and Formula

I was just snooping around online for a Mossy Oak car seat for Scout's truck and found this one. Why (WHY) is it $279.99? Do people really spend that kind of money on car seats?

So why (WHY), you ask, am I looking at baby stuff? We are anticipating a baby at the beginning of February. Yay!

Considering the fact that Scout and I have been married for five years and we've never been able to conceive, we started contemplating adoption. Recently, an opportunity just kind of fell into our laps. We decided to take it (without much thought, really). We're crossing our fingers that nothing will change between now and then. But to keep my mind off of the reality that the birth mother could change her mind, I've been obsessing about things like these and the price of this:

Heartbreaking

Today I had to come up with an impromptu writing assignment for my English & Reading students. I decided that since my brother has recently arrived in Iraq, it would be a good exercise for the students to write a letter to him. I gave them the option of writing "DO NOT SEND" at the bottom, but this was actually assigned as a required assignment. I was pleased that only one student opted not to send his.

I asked the students to answer the following questions (this was an extremely easy assignment):

• What is your name?
• What do you like to do in your spare time?
• What is your favorite subject in school? (or who is your favorite teacher?)
• Where do you see yourself in ten years?

I smiled from ear to ear as I read most of the letters, but the following letter broke my heart:

Hola mi nombre es ___________. J/K you probly don't speak spanish so I'll stick with english. Most people call me _______ tho. I'm 17 and I live in K-Town AKA Killeen texas. I was born in San antonio texas. In my free time right now I try to stay out of trouble because I don't want to get arrested again. Your sister erin is my favorite Sub. I don't have a favorite teacher or subject. I hate school and everything that goes with it but I go because the government makes me. In ten years I will be dead or in jail. those are my two options really. So your in Iraq! I bet it sucks over there. Im glad you are fighting for all of us. Even tho I will probly die before the war is over. Well....take care and God bless you and all the troops. Come home in one piece lol! Seriously tho!