Saturday, December 25, 2004


My step-dad just emailed me a hilarious joke...I suppose it's funny to me because my husband is from Tennessee. Just the other day, I was telling him how bad our dog was being, and he said in the biggest redneck accent, "get you a stick". He then proceeded to tell me what to with the stick once I got me one. It was hysterical. His accent only comes out when he's not thinking about it, but I think it's one of the cutest things about him. So here's the joke:

Southern Nativity Scene :

An Outsider in a small Kentucky town around Christmas time, saw a Nativity Scene that showed great skill and talent had gone into creating it but one small feature was all wrong: the three wise men were wearing firemen's helmets.

Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, he left. At a Quik Stop on the edge of town, he asked the lady behind the counter about the helmets. She exploded into a rage, yelling, "You darn Yankees never read your Bible!"

The Outsider assured her that he did, but simply couldn't recall anything about firemen in the Bible. She jerked her Bible from behind the counter and riffled through some pages, and finally jabbed her finger at a passage :

Sticking it in the guys face she said, "See, it says right here, 'The three wise men came from afar."

Friday, December 24, 2004


Merry Christmas everyone! Blogging has been slow this week because I'm preparing for my husband to come home! He will be here tomorrow around 10am. I've been frantically cleaning the house, shopping, and feeding my addiction to online spades. However, I hope all of you have a great Christmas...Mine is going to be fabulous with my husband here.

Wednesday, December 22, 2004


I have been toying with the idea of starting my own website for a while now. It started about a year ago when I found out one of my good friends had one of her very own. At the time, it seemed like something that only really smart, eloquent, well educated people could do. Over time however, I discovered that blogging had become a fairly common thing. While I may not be able to compete intellectually with a lot of others in the blogosphere, I decided that I wanted to give it a try.

My husband is in the military and we have been stationed in Germany for two years. He has been in Iraq for nearly seven months. For Thanksgiving, I decided to visit my family for the first time since we moved here. I had totally forgotten about the lefty majority that makes up Olympia, Washington, the town I grew up in. While I was home, I realized how unwelcome my political opinions were. There were anti-war protests, John Kerry stickers pasted every where, and "Bush=Hitler" slathered over many Honda Civics and old Toyota pick-ups.

When I realized how proud I had become of the United States, the military, my husband, and all the other soldiers in the past two years, I became angry at people that weren't . I had gotten so used to being in a little military community in the middle of nowhere that when I saw someone with something ignorant on their car, I became angry. However, my opinions almost screwed up my relationship with my favorite aunt.

Because of this I have decided to put my opinions out there, where people can take it or leave it. I don't want to worry about someone being upset about my opinions. So I hope all of you enjoy this...and if you don't, that's the beauty of it being my don't have to come here.

100 Things

I actually stole this idea from my friend Sarah. She cracks me up and inspired me to make a list of things about me.

1. I was born Erin Kelly Champion in San Antonio, Texas on August 1st, 1980.

2. My mom and dad were both in the military, so by the time I was twelve, I had lived in six different states and one foreign country.

3. I know entirely too much about Dairy Goats. My sister and I were in 4-H together, and I was always ready for the competition...Hence my knowledge of Dairy Goats.

4. I have two brothers and two sisters: Debe, Josh, Tim, and Meghan.

5. I am very happily married to my best friend, Mark. Sorry ladies, I got the best one.

6. When I was in 8th grade, a boy offered me five dollars in exchange for showing him my breasts. I punched him in the face.

7. Recently, a guy called one of my girlfriends a bitch. I punched him in the face too. I realized later that words only have power if you give it to them.

8. I cuss a lot. My mom always says "You aren't going to talk like that when you have kids, are you?" I respond, "Why the fuck not?" just to get a reaction from her.

9. My favorite artist is Shawn Mullins. Oh my lord can that boy sing! Unfortunately, he doesn't share the same feelings for President Bush as I do. I'll let it slide (but only for him).

10. I'm addicted to online spades. There have been nights where I play until I have to be at work the next morning. Sad.

11. I have a step-daugher named Savannah. She is beautiful.

12. My dream job is doing something in Forensics or Microbiology. I would love to be a Coroner.

13. My favorite color is pink. Can't get enough of it.

14. I own a 20-guage shotgun. I have never used it, but when my husband is out of town and I hear a funny noise, I walk through the house and cock it to scare the crap out of whoever is in the closet.

15. My parents were divorced when I was in fourth grade. My dad got married to a woman named Marie, and my mom got married to a man named Jon. Both of my parents are much better matched now.

16. I knit. Well, I try. My friend Sarah taught me, and I've been hooked ever since.

17. I love to hunt. The first time my friend Chad took me pheasant hunting, I got a rush watching that bird drop - a feeling that I can't explain.

18. I have a Chocolate Lab named Lewis. He was a birthday present for my husband. We named him after the duty station we met at - Fort Lewis.

19. I have this weird phobia of people touching my collar bone. My husband tortures me by poking my clavicle with his finger, knowing that I absolutely hate it.

20. I inherited my dad's ugly feet. My sister and I were both cursed with them. I always complain that we didn't get our mother's beautiful feet.

21. I am the crankiest person in the morning. Ask anyone who has come in contact with me before 10am, and they will tell you that I am an absolute monster.

22. I quilt. My first quilt was made for a friend's wedding, but I ended up keeping it.

23. When I was younger, I used to pick my scabs and eat them in front of my sister to gross her out.

24. My favorite show is Sex and the City. I could watch every episode a hundred times.

25. I have a new addiction: heels (as in shoes). The newest addition to my collection is a pair of lime green 4" heels that go perfectly with an outfit I already have. But my favorite heels are bright pink.

26. I hate the snow.

27. I hate any weather over 80 degrees.

28. I have two tattoos: a henna style dragonfly at the base of my neck, and one on my left forearm that says "Freedom".

29. I wore sneakers at my wedding. I refused to sacrifice comfort in exchange for beautiful white shoes that I would never wear again.

30. I want to be fluent in Spanish someday.

31. I have never broken any bones, but I've had one surgery.

32. When I was in elementary school, my dad took me to see an open-heart surgery. To this day, it has been the coolest thing I've ever seen.

33. I was a Nursing major for two years, and decided it wasn't what I wanted to do.

34. My dream house is a log cabin in the woods with a few acres of land.

35. Call me weird, but I've never really had the urge to visit France. I don't care if I die without seeing the Eiffel Tower in person. I'd rather go camping.

36. My family owns a cabin on the river. It's the place I dream about being on the weekends. There is just something magical about it.

37. My favorite type of food is Thai. Back home, I could eat at Lemon Grass every single day. I always order the same thing: Singapore Noodles.

38. I played high school and college tennis. I never got to be very good, but it's my favorite sport to play.

39. I think the worst sound in the world is a fire detector going off. You won't ever find batteries in any of mine.

40. My husband proposed to me in the sweetest way: He got up on stage during the band's intermission at our favorite bar. He called me up there, got on one knee and started saying the sweetest things. All of our friends were there and it was perfect. And to top it all off, it was Valentine's Day.

41. I love Doctor Phil. And Oprah.

42. My best feature is my legs. I have been asked if I play softball because my legs are like tree trunks. I like them like that though.

43. My sister and I have been asked if we are twins. I'm 3 1/2 years older than her.

44. My first kiss when I was 16, with a boy that I had a huge crush on. We ended up dating for two months, and I think he still hates me for breaking up with him a couple of days after Homecoming. I felt guilty about it for years.

45. My first car was a 1986 Ford Escort that my mom and dad bought for $500. I hated that thing, but it got me around.

46. My husband and I didn't have a honeymoon, so on our one year anniversary, we went to Garmisch, Germany. We had a wonderful time.

47. On our wedding day, we had seven bride's maids, seven groom's men, and three flower girls.

48. I've eaten kangaroo, and it is the best steak I have ever had.

49. My mom has three cats, and I'm responsible for bringing all of them home. Rascal was a kitten, and I talked my mom into letting me keep him. Jackson was a stray I found at my high school, and I REALLY had to convince her about him. Cooper was a stray I found in Kansas during college. I brought him home when I moved back to Olympia, and he ended up staying at my mom's house.

50. I used to have a rooster named Kellogg. He was the cutest rooster ever, but my mom made me get rid of him because he made too much noise at 5am. I'm still bitter.

51. I love popping zits. It drives me crazy when I see someone walking around with a big ol' whitehead on their face. I have to put my hands in my pockets to keep from reaching over and popping that nasty thing.

52. I don't like cars. I own one, but I would rather have a pick-up or suv of some kind. I don't like being so low to the ground.

53. The longest I have gone without seeing my hubby is 204 days. Yes, I counted. And I hope I never have to do it again.

54. One of my biggest turn-ons is when guys wear flip-flops with jeans. It gives me the chills, especially when it's my husband.

55. I really want to learn to play the guitar.

56. My mom and I are best friends. She knows things about me before I even tell her (and I tell her ALL of it). I hope that I can be as fabulous a mother as she has been to me.

56. My dad taught me to work hard for the things I want. He also got me into of the greatest adventures in the world.

57. My step-dad taught me to laugh at life. He also taught me that if there's a great piece of wood on the side of the road, stop and take it home. You never know when you'll need a 2x4.

58. My step-mom taught me the importance of loving my step-daughter. She also taught me to appreciate the finer things in life - she gave me my first Dooney and Bourke.

59. I voted for George W. Bush in 2004. I adore that man. I would love to have a beer with him sometime.

60. I don't see what the big deal is with gay-marriage. Who cares? It's people like Jennifer Lopez who should be barred from getting married.

61. I thought Farenheit 9/11 was the lamest movie ever. Two of my best friends and I had a "farenheit party", and all three of us almost fell asleep.

62. I'm not Catholic, but I love going to mass.

63. I smoke a pack of cigarettes per day. I know it's gross, but I love smoking.

64. My favorite beer is Guinness. I always joke that it takes a real man to drink that stuff.

65. My favorite alcoholic beverage is Jack and Coke. My husband got me hooked on it when we started dating.

66. I've found that no matter what laundry detergent I use, everyone else's laundry always smells better. I LOVE the smell of freshly washed laundry.

67. I hate anything flavored with cherry. My mom would give me cherry medicine as a kid when I was sick, and I always puked it up.

68. I hate cleaning the house. No, seriously. I HATE cleaning the house.

69. I am very high-anxiety. It took me almost two years to get the nerve to drive on the autobahn in Germany. I get panic attacks in the car.

70. My favorite movie is Wild Hearts Can't Be Broken.

71. When I was in 8th grade, my step-dad built my sister and I a two-story barn because we wanted goats.

72. My all time favorite food is thin crust italian sausage pizza.

73. I make a killer company meatloaf. It's one of my mom's specialties, and she taught me how to perfect it.

74. Someday when I have children, I want to advise them to hit bullies back. Sometimes talking just doesn't do the trick.

75. When I was little, my mom and dad tried to get me to say "monkey" correctly while we were at the zoo. I pronounced it "no-nee".

76. My favorite city in the world is Amsterdam. I can't wait to take my husband there - I think he would love it too.

77. I'm still learning my lesson from getting credit cards in college. I will NEVER AGAIN put anything on a credit card that I can't afford in cash. I learned the lesson the hard way.

78. I could drink coffee all day, every day. It is the perfect accessory to my smoking habit.

79. I think I'm the only person in the world who hasn't bought into the yoga thing. I find it incredibly boring.

80. My favorite smell is Spiced Pumpkin by the Yankee candle company. But anything that actually smells like I baked something is fine too.

81. I am always late. If I have to work at 9am, I'm there at 9:15. If I'm meeting a friend, I hate to admit it, but I'm late for that too. My friend Sarah has started telling me to be at her house thirty minutes before she actually wants me there.

82. I think drive-up ATMs were the greatest invention in the world. We just got our first one in tiny little Vilseck, Germany. Of course, I haven't used it because it charges ATM fees.

83. I've been told that I snore like a fat old man. I used to think my husband was just giving me a hard time, but my friends and parents have verified it.

84. I have a tendency to talk before I think. I have said some of the dumbest, most offensive things because the filter from my brain to my mouth doesn't work. And then I spend the rest of my day kicking my own ass for saying something so horrible.

85. My favorite holiday is Halloween. I love being able be someone else for a night, and then go back to being myself.

86. I think there should be a law against Christmas music in October. I think December 1st should be the official date to start the music and decorations. Otherwise, I'm burnt out by Thanksgiving.

87. Puma is my favorite brand of sneakers. I want a pair in every color.

88. I love old hankerchiefs. I have my collection hanging in my laundry room, and my mom even gave me some of my grandmother's.

89. I would love to learn how to box.

90. I have names picked out for our non-existent children. Bella Mae for a girl, and Max Anthony for a boy.

91. I was the mascot in high school. I had to learn some of the cheers in order to do it. Otherwise, I've never really gotten along with cheerleaders.

92. I ran for Associated Student Body President in high school. I lost and became the Secretary instead.

93. My husband is a soldier. I am so proud.

94. I love sweat pants and hooded sweatshirts. I could wear them every single day.

95. I love dogs. If I could, I would have a million of them. But taking care of more than one is too much for me.

96. I hit a dog with my mom's van in high school. It was the most traumatic experience in my life. He ended up being ok though.

97. I don't have caller id, so I screen my phone calls by letting the answering machine pick up.

98. Even though I love my friends and family, I'm horrible at keeping in touch with them.

99. One of my biggest pet peeves is bad customer service.

100. I have a really bad habit of biting my nails.