2005

In the past few years, I have given up on making resolutions. I have never kept a resolution, whether it was to quit smoking, lose weight, stop buying shoes, keep my house clean, or get on a certain sleep schedule. I'd like to consider myself a free spirit...I like to do whatever it is that I want to do...even if it means breaking my own rules. But then guilt slowly starts creeping up on me, telling me I'm a nicotine pheening- fat- obsessive shoe shopping-lazy ass- insomniac.

This year is no different. However, I'm going to make a mini-resolution to not be so hard on myself. If I smoke for the rest of my life, fine. If I don't look like a model, ok. If I find a pair of shoes that I must have, even if I don't have anything to go with them, bag 'em up. If I have to hire a maid to clean the house, sweet. And if I stay up all night playing spades, and can only half-function at work the next day, oh well. Bottom line: I just want to be happy.

I want to develop the good things about me, not dwell on the "bad" things. I know that sounds like something we've all heard a thousand times from our favorite magazine, but this year, I want to put it into practice. In fact, Shawn Mullins puts it perfectly:

"...cause I want to shimmer

i want to to shine

i want to radiate

i want to live

i want to love

i want to try and learn how not to hate"

Here's to happiness, guilt-free pleasures, and fabulous shoes. Happy New Year everyone.