Tuesday, April 17, 2007


Scout and I have been trying to have a baby. Well, up until yesterday.

A girl at work answered the phone when Scout called and told me, "It's your husband. He says it's urgent."

Apparently, someone had busted out our window (for the second time) with one of the bricks on the side of our house. Scout was nervous that someone had broken in, while I was immediately sure that it was some one's child fucking around on the way home from the bus stop. I told him to call the cops and let me know what they said.

On the off-chance that it was someone planning on coming back for our stuff, I bought some ammo from work that I like to call "Man Stoppers" and replaced the target practice bullets from my .380 when I got home.

Scout went and talked to the neighbors, and after letting all the information he gathered marinate for a while, we both came to the conclusion that it had to be some one's delinquent child with nothing better to do than vandalizing our hard-earned property. Fuck, it makes me angry.

I called the glass company for an estimate, and it's going to cost me 16.25 hours of work time (before I pay taxes) to cover the replacement window. That is more than two fucking days of my time because some jackass doesn't know where his or her child is. Yes, I blame the parents. Don't you?

I've been told by a lot of people that I will have the ability to tune things out when I have a child. But honestly, I don't find that quality appealing. I'd much rather be irritated by my child acting up (and discipline him or her) than tune it out and allow everyone else to deal with it. Seriously, haven't you seen those mothers at WalMart that have that miraculous ability to tune things out? They have no problem picking out curtain rods while their children throw tantrums on the floor, while I have to consider going to the doctor for a prescription of anti-psychotics.

I honestly think that this situation is a result of a mother or father just tuning things out. The kid throws a tantrum, tune it out. The kid gets bad grades, tune it out. The kid throws a rock through some one's window, hell, the parents don't even know because they've tuned everything out his whole freakin' life. He knows he can get away with it.

Well guess what? I'm camping out by our privacy fence this afternoon when the kids get off the school bus today. If I hear anyone bragging about being responsible for our broken window, I am following their asses home and having a little chat with their parents (and calling the cops to file charges). I can assure you that they won't be able to tune me out.

And it just makes me wonder if I can handle the responsibilities of parenting. Baby-making might have to wait a while.


Sarah said...

I think you're right that the "tune things out" can be a bad thing. Every time I start to feel comfortable with the idea of having a kid, something like this happens to set me back a few steps!

Anonymous said...

Well, being an experienced mommy, I can tell you that there definitely are those shitty-ass parents out there that totally 'support' a child's terrible behavior and I, for one, NEVER put up with it from my children or even others'. I have been told that I am mean and my friends kids are scared of me, but guess who they run to every time I am around? Not that I am some super woman or anything, but kids respond VERY well to boundaries and discipline. I am not talking beating the crap out of them either -- I don't believe in that ("don't hit your sister!" POW POW!! That doesn't make sense)but I am talking about set rules and punishment or consequences. Anyhow, with the tantrum on the floor thing? You do have to pick your battles. Walking away from a screaming kid is the most affective way to shut them up because trying to get your attention and embarrassing you is exactly the response they are looking for. Where they learn this, I am unsure, but every kid of mine has tried and failed on the tantrum thing. Once they realize that it's going nowhere, it stops. Usually moms get too upset and excitable about it and perpetuate the behavior.... But there is a difference between purposefully ignoring behavior and ignorantly disregarding.... Another problem that I commonly see is parents with the empty promises, "If you do that again, you'll be in trouble!" And then nothing. There HAS to be consequences! But it is a hassle and very tiring to discipline. Following through is HARD.

And another thing? It's sooooo easy to judge when it's not yours! ;) I had all sorts of ideas about kids until I had my own. Holy shit. The 'because I said so' and 'if Johnny jumped off a bridge would you?' DO come out of your mouth....

But my little one, who is almost 6, when asked, "What do crying girls get?" will still respond, "NOTHING!!!"

Don't worry about having kids. You'll be awesome! "Admitting there's a problem is the hardest part." HAHA!

Also, if you see those kids coming off the bus, tell them that the police have already been called and ask them who broke the window! You might be surprised how quickly some of them respond! I had some little fuckers pull down a window box of flowers in Germany (you know what I am talking about) and the kids were more than happy to take me to the stairwell where the kids lived. I was amazed how little I had to investigate!
Good post!


Nicole said...

Yeah I'm guilty of thinking the same things when I'm trying to wedge my shopping cart past someone who is screaming at their children in the middle of the grocery store. I guess it's easy to think this way when you're childless (like me), although I had a VERY strict mother growing up who really never allowed that kind of behavior....but based on how I am with my dog (total pushover!) I don't have high hopes for my own parenting/disciplining abilities! Lol...

Nicole said...

sorry *passed*