Wednesday, September 09, 2009

Ready

Maybe it's the fact that I'm on my way to the big 3-0. Or that I'm allowing my curiosity to come to the surface.

Whatever the reason, I'm ready for another baby.

I've never cared whether a child of mine was genetically mine. My children don't even have to look like me. I just want to be a good mother to as many children as I am able, raising them to be responsible, respectful, and happy people. 

However, the price tag for adopting children is high. And up until now, I didn't want to know the reason why I haven't been able to get (or stay) pregnant.

So I've found myself at a fork in the road: Pay $30,000 for a child for whom I'd wait a few years to meet, or find out and fix what is wrong with my infertile body for free.

Neither option sounds appealing. But unless another child drops from the sky like Tucker seemed to, those are the only two options.

Thing is, I've seen what infertility does to people; perhaps that's why I've been resistant to finding an answer. I don't want to become wrapped up in it. I don't want to live my life based on a 28-day cycle. Charting cervical fluid and basal temps doesn't appeal to me. I have a good life, and I don't want to be controlled by the one day of the month, every month,  that I look forward to: the day I'm late for my period.

My seven years of Just Relax and Let Things Happen proves that that isn't always the answer. I'm ready to get to the bottom of it. 

Oh, and we have ten months. Scout deploys in August.

8 comments:

Meghan said...

Where is scout going, back to Iraq? I think you just need a little help, I dont think it will be a serious issue, ask for clomid.

sharona said...

Good Luck! Who knows, maybe another one WILL just drop from the sky...stranger things have happened! Either way, I'm rooting for another one for you!

Allison said...

Don't make your decision based on someone else's experience! It may not be YOUR experience!! You are you. You never know - it could be an easy fix (like more sex! YAY!)...

surgpa said...

WTF!!! Where is Scout headed THIS time????
I think he's done his part.
Dad

Erin said...

Meghan and Dad: Scout is off to Afghanistan.

ABW said...

Oh man, I'm sorry he's deploying again.

Abbey said...

Wow so many things for you to consider. I can't imagine having to make either choice. All I can say is do what you feel is right in your heart. And I'm sorry to hear Scout's being deployed again.

Sarah said...

Wow.