Whatever the reason, I'm ready for another baby.
I've never cared whether a child of mine was genetically mine. My children don't even have to look like me. I just want to be a good mother to as many children as I am able, raising them to be responsible, respectful, and happy people.
However, the price tag for adopting children is high. And up until now, I didn't want to know the reason why I haven't been able to get (or stay) pregnant.
So I've found myself at a fork in the road: Pay $30,000 for a child for whom I'd wait a few years to meet, or find out and fix what is wrong with my infertile body for free.
Neither option sounds appealing. But unless another child drops from the sky like Tucker seemed to, those are the only two options.
Thing is, I've seen what infertility does to people; perhaps that's why I've been resistant to finding an answer. I don't want to become wrapped up in it. I don't want to live my life based on a 28-day cycle. Charting cervical fluid and basal temps doesn't appeal to me. I have a good life, and I don't want to be controlled by the one day of the month, every month, that I look forward to: the day I'm late for my period.
My seven years of Just Relax and Let Things Happen proves that that isn't always the answer. I'm ready to get to the bottom of it.
Oh, and we have ten months. Scout deploys in August.