Tuesday, December 18, 2007

What Exactly do You Mean by "Faith Based"?

At the request of my aunt Penny and my father, I'm actually making an effort to blog today.

I was telling my aunt on the phone the other day that hatred makes for good writing - and hatred really isn't what I've been experiencing - which means lack of good writing material. When I lived in Germany, I guess I had great writing material.

I mildly dislike how ghetto Killeen is, I really dislike going to WalMart at any time of the day other than midnight, and it gets old that Scout is always in the field. But I don't hate anything. My life is good. I love my job, love our home, and love the prospect of having a child in the next *six* weeks. So it makes for blah style writing (or no writing at all).

I may need some advice, though. I'm pretty sure I'll go with my gut on this one, but feel free to put your two cents in.

This adoption agency that we've chosen didn't say anything about faith when we went in for the consultation. However, after looking through the paperwork, I've seen mission statement type things that say, "We are a faith based agency...blah, blah, blah".

So even though both Scout and I were raised in religious homes (his dad is a Preacher, for heaven's sake), neither one of us have the desire to go to church. We don't believe or disbelieve in the Bible. We celebrate Christmas, but more in the Santa Clause is Coming to Town way (as opposed to Because Christ was Born). We celebrate Easter because of the bunnies, not because of the resurrection.

So I put down N/A for religion. I have a problem saying that I'm Protestant if I'm not (for fuck's sake, isn't that a lie?). Scout had a slight problem putting N/A, but didn't really want to put Protestant either.

But now I'm feeling like this private arrangement we made with the birth mother has somehow turned into this nightmarish judgement of whether we are good enough. Should I be honest (like the Bible tells me to), or lie in order for this "faith based" adoption agency to approve me as a decent, caring, responsible human being? And what the fuck? You could at least tell me what faith it is! I don't even know if Protestant would be the right answer!

8 comments:

sharona said...

The way I understand "faith based" is that is how they operate their business/charity etc. They are probably ran by whatever religous group (only adoption one I can think of local here is the Catholic Charities). Yes, they're interested in your religious preferences because that is part of you and your life and this child will be a part of that life and/or religion. Just because they are faith based does not mean that if you are of another preference, they will reject you.
My thought on what you tell them...be honest! You can put N/A if you are not currently a practicing Protestant. That doesn't mean you don't have a religous background or beliefs. It just means that you aren't an active "whatever". And I'm sure they'll give you plenty of chance to explain more than N/A (for cryin out loud, they wanted detailed info on your sex life!)

So, that's my input! If it's not worth a whole 2 cents, I'll let you keep the change as a tip! :)

Mom said...

Good answer Sharona!! Be honest, even putting Protestant doesn't committ you to anything. It's not a lie it's the way you were raised. If it bothers you to put that because you think you are mis-representing yourself then put NA or how about No preference.

debey said...

there's a big difference in being RELIGIOUS, or being CHRISTIAN.
i'm definitely not the first, don't go to church anymore, but i still think i qualify under the 2nd.
I'm closer to God, on a walk, down by the river on a thursday or friday, than i would be in a church, on a saturday night, or sunday morning.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

You should have wrote, NOYFB.


Dick

Count said...

when in doubt, lie

Anonymous said...

Just tell them you practice being Druids and that bat blood is paticularly good at the midnight meetings during the full moon.

Dad

sohos said...

Merry Christmas!