So it's been about two weeks since I quit smoking, and I'm feeling really good. The problem with the medication that's helping me to quit (Chantix) is that I'm sleepy all day long (whether I take a nap or not) and wide awake at night. It's not working with my schedule to say the least (but hey, I'm not smoking either).
Tonight I've been tossing, turning, and thinking about a lady I saw at the pool the other day. I don't know what's more disturbing - the fact that she was wearing what she was wearing, or the fact that I can't get it out of my mind. You decide.
I'm the last person to say that there should be some kind of code for who can or cannot wear bikinis. I'm sure if there were such a code, I would be one of the first to be excluded. However, I do wear one from time to time. My theory: A one-piece doesn't hide the fat. So to hell with it - I'm going to get a better tan.
Well, as Scout Jr was swimming with a friend of hers, I was holding Tucker and soaking up the sun with a friend of mine. A woman walked past me in what seemed to be a decent bathing suit from the front: A basic black bikini. However, as she continued walking by me, my mouth dropped open and I could not believe what I saw. From the side view, her bikini was extremely high cut and her lower abdomen had some rolls that poked out quite far. The combination of the two exposed her Paul Bunyan (don't make me spell that one out for you). I am telling you - I could tell what number blade she used to trim. Seriously, it was that bad.
I had some conflicting thoughts. Should I tell her that her vagina is...um. Wait, how do you tell someone that their privates are hanging out? Does she know that she should have just left the bottom half of her bikini at home? But maybe she honestly doesn't realize? Maybe she adjusted the suit just right at home, and by the time she got to the pool, it was all jacked up and inappropriate?
Needless to say, I didn't tell the woman about the situation south of her belly button. I mean really. I can't imagine walking up to someone and saying, "Excuse me, ma'am. Your vagina is showing."
No, wouldn't happen. But I really wish I could get it out of my mind and get some sleep!