Love Notes

I'm starting a scrapbook for Tucker. Yeah, I'm a little late. But Scout and I decided that we would write him love notes so when he's older, he can look through his scrapbook and see how we longed for him, how we waited for him. And how no other child on the planet could have been more loved than him.

Here's my first letter.

My Sweet Tucker,

I have fallen in love twice in my life.

The first time was when I wasn’t expecting it, I felt undeserving of it, and I had given up on it. Your father, a man whose qualities and character cannot be defined by words, chose me. And I chose him back.

The second time I fell in love was with you – a tiny little boy whom we so desperately wanted. A little boy whom we waited for, often times impatiently. I knew that the universe was exactly as it should be the first time I held you.

Until the day you were born, I had never known anything to be true down in my core, in my bones. But I now know that since the beginning of time, the plan was for you to be our child. I was created to be your mother. And you were created to be my son. Someday, I hope you experience at least one thing you know to be true, straight down to the marrow of your bones, just like I know this to be true.

My lack of imagination diminished a few days after you were born. Almost involuntarily, my brain started planning the fate of whoever might try to hurt you. My imagination ran wild with images of My Kind of Justice. I knew that person would suffer a far worse consequence at my hands than in any prison.

I love you, Tucker. And my love for you will never be conditional upon the types of things you accomplish or the mistakes you make. I love you because you are mine. And that’s for always.

Love,

Mom

Then:

And now: