So I'm taking a poll. What are Winston's ears going to do next?
Friday, March 31, 2006
Llama Love
So here's my update to two truths and a lie:
1) I once had a goat that ate my algebra homework.
True. I was at the Puyallup State Fair, showing my dairy goats (no jokes, please...lol). There were pens set up for all of the goats, and one pen set up for supplies in the middle of two of the goat pens. It had hay bales in it so the showmen could sit in there. Well, I was sitting on one of the hay bales doing algebra homework (I was missing about a week of school). I looked over into one of the other pens, and a goat had her head stuck between two slats. I put my homework down on the hay bale and helped the goat free herself. By the time I walked back over to the supplies pen, another goat had reached her head in and was munching on my algebra worksheet. I pulled it from her mouth, but about a third of it was gone. The next week, when I whispered to Mr. Gibbons the unbelievable news, he thought it was too hilarious to keep it a secret. He laminated the partially eaten homework, made me sign it, and hung it up in his classroom for the rest of the school year.
2) My mom accidentally murdered our pet hedgehog when I was in high school.
True. My mom unknowingly put the wrong kind of wood chips in the poor critter's cage. Apparently, hedgehogs are fatally allergic to this particular kind or something. My mom still feels horrible about the untimely death she caused. Forgive yourself, Mom.
3) I once resuscitated a newborn llama by giving it CPR.
False. I've never seen a newborn llama. I resuscitated a newborn goat though (surprise, surprise). And yes, he did live.
1) I once had a goat that ate my algebra homework.
True. I was at the Puyallup State Fair, showing my dairy goats (no jokes, please...lol). There were pens set up for all of the goats, and one pen set up for supplies in the middle of two of the goat pens. It had hay bales in it so the showmen could sit in there. Well, I was sitting on one of the hay bales doing algebra homework (I was missing about a week of school). I looked over into one of the other pens, and a goat had her head stuck between two slats. I put my homework down on the hay bale and helped the goat free herself. By the time I walked back over to the supplies pen, another goat had reached her head in and was munching on my algebra worksheet. I pulled it from her mouth, but about a third of it was gone. The next week, when I whispered to Mr. Gibbons the unbelievable news, he thought it was too hilarious to keep it a secret. He laminated the partially eaten homework, made me sign it, and hung it up in his classroom for the rest of the school year.
2) My mom accidentally murdered our pet hedgehog when I was in high school.
True. My mom unknowingly put the wrong kind of wood chips in the poor critter's cage. Apparently, hedgehogs are fatally allergic to this particular kind or something. My mom still feels horrible about the untimely death she caused. Forgive yourself, Mom.
3) I once resuscitated a newborn llama by giving it CPR.
False. I've never seen a newborn llama. I resuscitated a newborn goat though (surprise, surprise). And yes, he did live.
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Knee Caps
I've started noticing lately how frequently I say, "Today was one of those days I should have just stayed in bed."
Well, today was really one of those days.
There was at least one time today that I thought, Man, I really wish I knew a real-life Tony Soprano. I would have your freakin' knee caps busted.
Well, today was really one of those days.
There was at least one time today that I thought, Man, I really wish I knew a real-life Tony Soprano. I would have your freakin' knee caps busted.
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Fun
Well, I just took a vinegar bath per Kelly's instructions (for a dumb ass mistake I made in the stupid, evil tanning bed...I stayed in too long). Now I smell like my favorite potato chip, and Lewis is licking my legs like they're Alpo flavored lollipops.
On a more pleasant note, I talked to Master P today (he's in town for a welcome home ceremony for 94th Engineers).
Anyway, Scout and I were walking out of the PX this evening, and Master P came walking in. I smiled and yelled, "What's up DUDE!" Scout kept walking like he was too cool.
I never noticed how nice Master P's smile was until I saw him up close...and he said, "What's uuup." (All slow and mellow like).
As we did the equivalent of shaking hands...with closed fists (do you know what I mean?) I said, "Welcome to Hell, Dude."
He laughed and walked off.
You know, I never knew much about Master P until he was on Dancing With the Stars. But I rooted for him because I wanted him to prove he could do it...And I LOVED his partner, Ashly.
For the 2.4 seconds I was around him, he seemed like a pretty cool dude.
Before today, the only famous person I had met was Dr. Seuss. He was pretty damn cool too.
On a more pleasant note, I talked to Master P today (he's in town for a welcome home ceremony for 94th Engineers).
Anyway, Scout and I were walking out of the PX this evening, and Master P came walking in. I smiled and yelled, "What's up DUDE!" Scout kept walking like he was too cool.
I never noticed how nice Master P's smile was until I saw him up close...and he said, "What's uuup." (All slow and mellow like).
As we did the equivalent of shaking hands...with closed fists (do you know what I mean?) I said, "Welcome to Hell, Dude."
He laughed and walked off.
You know, I never knew much about Master P until he was on Dancing With the Stars. But I rooted for him because I wanted him to prove he could do it...And I LOVED his partner, Ashly.
For the 2.4 seconds I was around him, he seemed like a pretty cool dude.
Before today, the only famous person I had met was Dr. Seuss. He was pretty damn cool too.
Monday, March 27, 2006
PostSecret
Can you imagine being dubbed "the most trusted stranger in America?"
What about reading THOUSANDS of secrets everyday as they pour into your home mailbox?
Crazy, but oh so cool.
What about reading THOUSANDS of secrets everyday as they pour into your home mailbox?
Crazy, but oh so cool.
Sunday, March 26, 2006
That's Hot
Saturday, March 25, 2006
Thursday, March 23, 2006
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Best/Worst
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Kansas Mine
O Kansas, thou art mine;
O Kansas, I am thine;
Thy love I claim.
Thou land of joy and light;
Thou land where right is might;
Thou land that's ever bright
With honest fame.
Thy very name is dear
Unto my loyal ear,
And sweet it sounds.
I love to see that name;
It gleams with holy flame;
Its glory all proclaim
Within thy bounds.
I love thy prairies wide,
Thy fertile soil, well tried,
Thy rolling plains;
Thy corn, whose verdant sheen
O'er rolling miles is seen;
And waving fields, all green,
Of smaller grains.
Thy groves and vine-made bowers;
Thy wild and lavish flowers,
Give me delight;
Thy streams where thick woods grow,
And mirrored limbs below
Move gently to and fro,
Entrance my sight.
O Kansas, Kansas mine,
Thou evermore shalt shine
With radiance bright,
Like polar star on high,
The guide post of the sky;
And all shall turn the eye
To catch thy light.
-John Edward Everett
O Kansas, I am thine;
Thy love I claim.
Thou land of joy and light;
Thou land where right is might;
Thou land that's ever bright
With honest fame.
Thy very name is dear
Unto my loyal ear,
And sweet it sounds.
I love to see that name;
It gleams with holy flame;
Its glory all proclaim
Within thy bounds.
I love thy prairies wide,
Thy fertile soil, well tried,
Thy rolling plains;
Thy corn, whose verdant sheen
O'er rolling miles is seen;
And waving fields, all green,
Of smaller grains.
Thy groves and vine-made bowers;
Thy wild and lavish flowers,
Give me delight;
Thy streams where thick woods grow,
And mirrored limbs below
Move gently to and fro,
Entrance my sight.
O Kansas, Kansas mine,
Thou evermore shalt shine
With radiance bright,
Like polar star on high,
The guide post of the sky;
And all shall turn the eye
To catch thy light.
-John Edward Everett
Monday, March 20, 2006
And on a lighter note...
I have a new obsession: Norwegian Forest Cats. Isn't she cute?
And mom, before you ask, she's not mine (but I really want her to be).
Monday, March 13, 2006
Sweeeet
You know when you find the coolest website you've seen in a while and you just want to share it? Well, that just happened to me. Don't even bother looking at it if you're a dude. Unless you have a wife or something.
http://www.16sparrows.com/shop.html
http://www.16sparrows.com/shop.html
Saturday, March 11, 2006
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Best/Worst
The best part of my day...finding out that Vera Bradley ships to APOs.
And the worst....realizing that after over two years of working for the same person, he still calls me Irwin. Every.Single.Time. And it isn't a nickname. He's just an old man who can't pronounce Erin. (I guess if that's the worst thing about my day, I have it pretty good)
And the worst....realizing that after over two years of working for the same person, he still calls me Irwin. Every.Single.Time. And it isn't a nickname. He's just an old man who can't pronounce Erin. (I guess if that's the worst thing about my day, I have it pretty good)
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
Stress
Ok. For the last year or so, Scout has been calling me at work saying, "What do you want to do? Do you want to stay in Germany, or do you want to go to Fort (fill in the blank)?" I talked to sergeant so-and-so, and he said I can choose. Most of you can probably guess what I said, but it obviously didn't matter...because we're still here.
So yesterday was no different. He calls me and says, "I can get orders for Fort Hood. Is that ok?" (I love him for including me in the decision, by the way) Half-robot-like, I said, "Yes, dear. Fort Hood would be amazing." He said, "Well good, because that's where we're going if we want it." Me: "Ok babe. Love you. Bye." We hung up the phone.
As I lifted my hand off the receiver, a panic rushed over me. OH. MY. GOD. We are leaving Germany. Where am I going to work? What are we going to do? The poor dogs! They will be so traumatized on the plane! What about all of my stuff? I need to have a garage sale. Maybe I'll sell it all on eBay. Or maybe I'll consign it at the thrift store. I definitely can't keep the entertainment center. My Polish pottery better make it there. I need to go to Poland one last time. Do I still want to join the Army? There's no snow in Texas, right? I hope not. I'm sick of this weather. I bet there's like four Walmarts at Fort Hood. When should we ship the truck? SHOULD we ship the truck? When will I go to Seattle for Meghan's wedding? We leave June 1st, and she gets married in August. Do I fly to Fort Hood and then to Seattle? Or should I just fly to Seattle from Germany, and then drive my new truck to Fort Hood? If I go to Seattle early, do I get a job for two months? Or do I continue to sponge off my husband and my mom? Eww. I don't want to deep clean this house. I can't wait to go to Walmart. Ahhh. Target. I have so many projects to finish. The baby sweater. The quilt. The dog pillow. The scrapbook. The scrapbooky-type picture frame thingy. Should we rent a house for $700/mo? Or pay an $800 mortgage on a house we can call ours? I need to call Sarah. I need to call Kelly. Where are they going? What am I going to do without them? Maybe we can all go to Cape May next year. And Peoria the next. Just girls. And then Seattle. Or they can come to Fort Hood. I'll have a big enough house. I need to lose weight. Especially if we are living in Texas. Heat and fat rolls don't mix. I want to wear flip-flops in February. Maybe we can go see Dad and Marie on the weekends. But what would we do with the dogs? How often can we see Savannah? Will she want to come to our house? Will she still like me? Will she like the dogs? Gosh, she's growing up so fast. Wow, I sound like my parents. I'm dreading the flight. I need to start using more spices when I cook. Who knows if they'll actually ship them. Do we have enough money saved up? Maybe we should just stay here. Sike.
Breathe in, breathe out. Walmart is only a few months away.
So yesterday was no different. He calls me and says, "I can get orders for Fort Hood. Is that ok?" (I love him for including me in the decision, by the way) Half-robot-like, I said, "Yes, dear. Fort Hood would be amazing." He said, "Well good, because that's where we're going if we want it." Me: "Ok babe. Love you. Bye." We hung up the phone.
As I lifted my hand off the receiver, a panic rushed over me. OH. MY. GOD. We are leaving Germany. Where am I going to work? What are we going to do? The poor dogs! They will be so traumatized on the plane! What about all of my stuff? I need to have a garage sale. Maybe I'll sell it all on eBay. Or maybe I'll consign it at the thrift store. I definitely can't keep the entertainment center. My Polish pottery better make it there. I need to go to Poland one last time. Do I still want to join the Army? There's no snow in Texas, right? I hope not. I'm sick of this weather. I bet there's like four Walmarts at Fort Hood. When should we ship the truck? SHOULD we ship the truck? When will I go to Seattle for Meghan's wedding? We leave June 1st, and she gets married in August. Do I fly to Fort Hood and then to Seattle? Or should I just fly to Seattle from Germany, and then drive my new truck to Fort Hood? If I go to Seattle early, do I get a job for two months? Or do I continue to sponge off my husband and my mom? Eww. I don't want to deep clean this house. I can't wait to go to Walmart. Ahhh. Target. I have so many projects to finish. The baby sweater. The quilt. The dog pillow. The scrapbook. The scrapbooky-type picture frame thingy. Should we rent a house for $700/mo? Or pay an $800 mortgage on a house we can call ours? I need to call Sarah. I need to call Kelly. Where are they going? What am I going to do without them? Maybe we can all go to Cape May next year. And Peoria the next. Just girls. And then Seattle. Or they can come to Fort Hood. I'll have a big enough house. I need to lose weight. Especially if we are living in Texas. Heat and fat rolls don't mix. I want to wear flip-flops in February. Maybe we can go see Dad and Marie on the weekends. But what would we do with the dogs? How often can we see Savannah? Will she want to come to our house? Will she still like me? Will she like the dogs? Gosh, she's growing up so fast. Wow, I sound like my parents. I'm dreading the flight. I need to start using more spices when I cook. Who knows if they'll actually ship them. Do we have enough money saved up? Maybe we should just stay here. Sike.
Breathe in, breathe out. Walmart is only a few months away.
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