I'm Tired

I'm here, but I'm tired.

Having Tucker around is the most amazing experience I could have hoped for; he is a great baby with a mellow disposition.

This week has been tough without Scout around, but luckily I've been in San Antonio with my dad and step mom - and they've been spoiling their grandson rotten! In fact, they've spoiled me too. As a "Congratulations on Becoming a Mother" gift, they bought me a David Yurman garnet ring (which is Tucker's birth stone).

Until Scout gets back, I anticipate blogging, answering the phone, and responding to emails less. So bear with me as I get into a routine and catch up on my sleep.

Love you all. Muah.

Wow

I don't have much time (I only came home to let the dogs out), but Tucker's "Aunt" Heidi sent me some pictures of her visit. Tucker kind of threw things off - I was supposed to go see her yesterday. Instead, she drove to see us (and brought all kinds of wonderful gifts - including Asiago cheese bagels from Panera. Damn).

Here we are:


And Tucker's "Aunt" ABW brought us some German bread and pastries. Yum! (and totally spoiled us with amazing presents the day before).

I can't believe how many great people we have in our lives.

Thank you all again for your kind words. I hope to be back at the house with Tucker today - but it could be tomorrow.

He's Here

Thank you, Sarah, for keeping everyone updated while I was in the middle of the biggest moment of my life...

Here are some quick pictures, before we go back to the hospital (story telling will have to wait, my friends).

Here's Tucker, screaming his head off (he has a great set of lungs!):


And after he calms down a bit:


And me, with *my son* although I didn't have a free hand to wipe all my tears before the picture was snapped:


And how proud does this daddy look?:


I love you all...Thank you for all of the nice words. Any of you in the area that would like to come see us, we will be in the hospital all weekend, and would love visitors.

Early, Early!

Hi, folks, it's Sarah. Erin just called me from her car on the way to the hospital; Tucker's birth mother is going into labor! I will update you here as I learn information.

Update #1:
Is "birth mother" insensitive? I don't know how to word this at all...

Update #2:
Well, apparently Tucker is in as big a hurry to meet his parents as they are to meet him! Holy cow, he's already here! Erin just called with details -- 6 lbs 9 oz -- but then had to get off the phone in a hurry. More when I know it.

Update #3:
Erin called back. Everything is great. Tucker has to stay at the hospital for 48 hours, so they're camped out for a while. And she said that Tucker is really cute, and then she said, "And like, actually cute, I'm not just saying that because he's mine."
I don't know that I'll get much more information, but I will post it here if I do!

"T" For Tucker

Every time I receive another baby package in the mail, I really feel like it's the best one ever. So forgive me for being so repetitive - I got the best package in the mail yesterday. I think I actually had a mild stroke.

My dear friend, Sarah, who's been fretting about the gifts she's made (and shouldn't have been), sent the most beautiful hand knit blanket. The thing I love most about it is that it isn't the traditional blue that everyone having a boy seems to be enthralled with (and orange is one of my most favorite colors ever). And if you look closely, it has a "T" in the middle, for Tucker. I couldn't get a picture that captured how amazing it really is:


And what person that was a child in the eighties doesn't just love Charlie Brown? I loved this fabric when I first saw that she had it, and Sarah somehow remembered - and saved the fabric - for this wonderful little quilt (which, by the way, I thought was store bought because it was so wonderfully made - and I'm a quilter myself):


To top it all off, she also sent a little photo album/scrapbook. Funny thing is, the night before we were at Target trying to pick one out and they were all hideous. We left without buying one, and I'm glad because the one Sarah sent is perfect.

I know how hard it is to put all kinds of time and effort into a gift, not knowing what the reaction is going to be (or if there will even be one - I won't even get into the non-reaction I recently received when I knit something for a friend of mine). But for me, that's what makes these gifts truly wonderful - that Sarah probably thought about Tucker the whole time she was making these blankets - particularly when her sewing machine was acting like an asshole during the last two inches of the quilt.

So thank you, Sarah. I can't even tell you how much I love it all.

Update

My mom reminded me that I should post an update on Scout's mom.

Scout's mom was admitted to the hospital on Monday, but released on Tuesday after her blood tests came back inconclusive. I'm not really sure if that's good, bad, or just more confusing.

But for right now, it looks like she's fine. I'll give updates if anything changes. Thank you all for your kind words.

ABW

I love meeting bloggers. But I really loved meeting ABW.

She came over on Saturday to drop off some baby stuff (yay!), amidst the water heater catastrophe. As we stood there and talked, I thought, I cannot believe there is someone this fun (yet normal) standing on my doorstep.

I've been on this I Don't Want Any New Friends kick since I left Germany, so I've been hesitant to exchange numbers with anybody (besides the fact that I have an I Love Loony People tattoo on my forehead - all the crazy people want to be friends with me). But ABW. I can't wait to have her over to knit. (Oh yes, my friends. She knits.)

So anyway, she brought over a plethora of cloth diapers (my checkbook will forever thank her):


And something I never even knew existed (there is so much cool baby gear in the world!). I'm sure Tucker will love it:


And speaking of awesome bloggers, Scout and I get to hang out with Heidi on Saturday.

Stress Cleaning

Scout is doing something right now that I call Stress Cleaning.

When he starts worrying about something he can't do anything about, the house suddenly smells like Pine Sol and the dog hair floating around disappears.

His mom is sick. She's been having chest pains and feeling weak. And all we know is that her EKG wasn't "normal", whatever that means. She avoided going to the doctor for a week or more, and now they're not sure if she had a heart attack or if there's some other cause.

And there's not a damn thing he can do about it. Or a damn thing I can say to make him feel better.

And so, the Stress Cleaning begins...

Guess What Scout Did Today

I am convinced that The Universe waits for the worst possible time to suck the life out of appliances.

What was supposed to be a ten dollar fix for a heating element ended up costing us almost $400 for a brand new water heater and installation accessories.

Recently, we've had to reset the water heater on a daily basis just to have enough hot water for two showers. Our certified heating and cooling neighbor came over with a fancy voltmeter (or something like that) and said it was the bottom heating element.

Yeah, if only it could be that simple. The problem was that because of all the rust and sediments, the element was permanently attached to the water heater; there was no removing it.

So Scout ventured to Lowe's and came back with something more energy efficient (and much prettier than the 1984 model that is now sitting in our front yard, waiting to be taken to the recycling center).

I Freakin' Love the Army

Despite the doubts that I've let creep in that this whole adoption will work out, it really has gone smoothly. I had a minor freak out a few weeks ago at my dad's house when I realized that I hadn't read carefully enough about all the things we still needed to do ("WHAT? We have to get CPR certified???"), but after a little encouragement, I realized that I could get it all done. I did, in fact, became a master of priority organization my senior year of college (even in the middle of a continental move during midterms).

So I got out my planner, wrote down the million things that needed to be done, and checked about five things off the list each day. I was done in about three weeks.

As the days went by, I thought, wow - this is really going to happen - the paperwork is basically filling itself out. And now here I sit, with extra time to blog and knit. We have nothing left to do but wait.

Sarah recently blogged on Spouse Buzz about the Army issuing us monkey wrenches. It made me think about how easy this whole process has been. And just when I feel like I can take a breath, the Army throws a big one at us. So, are you ready?

If Tucker is born around his due date, Scout won't be here. It's freakin' laughable.

Scout was supposed to be in Iraq last month, but his unit got extended to sometime in the near future (I'm trying to remain OPSEC, but he'll be here for a few weeks after Tucker gets here). Perfect, right?

All of his field problems are done, so he won't have to go play Army knowing that his baby has just arrived. More perfection.

And, he's gotten some leave approved so that we can be home for a few days together with Tucker. Perfection at its finest.

And yet, the one week that Tucker will most likely be here, Scout has been slotted to go to a school in Georgia. Super.

The school is a great opportunity - something that Scout is looking forward to. It just seems funny to me that out of the 52 weeks in the year, the biggest week of our life is slotted for him to travel a few states away to do something unnecessary (no matter how cool it is).

Yes, Army, I love you like Sarah does. But your sense of humor is kind of twisted.

Luckily, I've learned to laugh at you, compared to five years ago when I would have been highly ticked off.

Anat What?

Someone tell me I'm not the only one that hasn't ever heard the term Anat Baniel Method. What the hell? Even after reading the website, I can't really tell you it's purpose. Just when I thought I was getting smarter...

In other news, we passed our home study today. All of the major stuff is over. Now we just have to wait on some paperwork from Tucker's birth mother and anticipate his birthday.

I asked the social worker what the chances would be, percentage-wise, that our birth mother would change her mind. She asked, "Are you sure you want to know?" Sigh. Well, yeah. Now I really want to know. She told us that the last nationwide study showed that there was a 70% chance she would change her mind (this was five minutes before I was expected to write a $1,500 check, by the way). She did say, however, that it was about ten years ago, before open adoption and communication between birth parents and adoptive parents was encouraged (or even allowed). Agencies took a lot more control than they do now, so birth mothers felt like it was all or nothing, and buckled under the pressure of knowing that they may never even see a picture of their child. Sigh.

Here's to the hope we have in our 30% chance.

Yay and Yay

We finally got the package in the mail that I was most looking forward to (from my dad and step mom):


And the coolest surprise came yesterday, from a dear friend of mine (along with a note that said, "I'm sending along some of our favorite things." - best idea ever, if you ask me):



(Not to mention the money that my Aunt Penny sent for our anniversary, and all the other things that my parents have helped us out with. Blogging about all of the fun gifts is going to make me one busy girl.)

I Heart Snopes

I have a habit (a good one, I think) of checking forwarded emails for accuracy before I hit the "forward" button - particularly if they evoke an unbecoming reaction in me. For those of you that email me these forwards (there are a million of you), you might save me some time by doing this yourself!

By the way, if I get one more email that Starbucks refused to send coffee to Iraq because they don't support the war or the troops, I'm going to scream. It's not true, people.

At any rate, I got the following email this morning, which really pissed me off:

IN MEMORIAL-

This week, the UK removed the Holocaust from it's school curriculum because it "offended" the Muslim population because they say it never occurred.

This is a frightening portent of the fear that is gripping the world and how easy each country is giving into it.

It is now more than 60 years since the 2nd World War in Europe ended. This e-mail is being sent as a memorial chain, in memory of the 6 million Jews, 20 million Russians, 10 million Christians and 1,900 Catholic priests who were murdered, massacred, raped, starved, burned and humiliated while German and Russian people looked the other way!

Now more than ever, with Iran among others, claiming the Holocaust to be a myth, it is imperative to make sure the world never forgets.

This e-mail is intended to reach 40 million people worldwide! Be a link in the memorial chain and help distribute this around the world.

Don't just delete this, it will only take a minute to pass it on...

Luckily, I checked out snopes.com before I went into a total rage. Seriously, I was getting ready to get in my truck with my collection of firearms and attack the mosque down the street.

There was only a tiny bit of truth that turned into this total exaggeration of a story. Read it for yourself.

And for the love of all that is holy, check snopes before you pass it on to me (or anyone else, for that matter). We have enough lies coming from the media to filter through; we shouldn't continue the trend by sending lies to each other.

Porn

Hey, if you know Scout through myspace, he is not sending porn to you. Somehow, he's been "phished" or something absurd like that, and someone is sending it from his account. Even my mom's account is doing it. I don't know how to fix it, but sorry about the confusion.

Interesting

I've seen a lot of bloggers recently post about what people google in order to end up at their site. I was curious, so I signed up for Google Analytics. The results are interesting:

• fat bridesmaid
• girl pee standing
• ta-50
• dating german nativities with stick legs*
• erin amberg
• erin dick
• inappropriate affection from spouse*
• what happens if you dont renew pawn ticket
• what to do with a fat bridesmaid*

*What the HELL?

I'm also fairly positive that my stalker from Germany is still reading. If that's the case, eat shit and die, asshole.

Cabled Tank Top

I haven't been in much of a mood for baby knitting lately. You'd think with a baby (and a niece or nephew) on the way, I'd be knitting baby things like crazy. But no, I've been knitting socks for me, headbands for me, and dreaming of knitting other things for me (I'm already a bad mother).

But the other day, inspiration struck. I'm working on this Debbie Bliss cabled tank top for Tucker:


I love (LOVE) cables, and this little man sweater is the cutest. Here's my work so far (the cables are hard to see in this picture - yet another reason I never take pictures of my projects):


I must say, knitting and depth perception go hand in hand. With my left eye out of commission, my depth perception is gone. Every time I go to knit a stitch, my right needle splits the yarn (not a good thing, for you non-knitters). But I can't help but push through it, knowing that Tucker will soon be wearing it.

Gunnar

Today, in the midst of all the good things going on in my life, I remember some people I love tormented by today's date.

I originally met them through this post. After their hospitality and kindness on our trip to South Dakota, I knew they would be lifelong friends. These people are salt of the earth types, people that would do anything for the people they love. And their son died serving this country.

Today, Debey and Doug, I remember your son and the good life he lived. I remember you, the parents who raised him to be a man worthy of wearing the uniform of a United States soldier.

If you feel so inclined, please go see them and leave an encouraging comment.

Good Morning

I have no words. But I'm fucking miserable.

$296.16

If there is one day I hate more than any other day in the month, it's the day I get my electricity bill in the mail. That day was today.

Seriously (and I'm not saying this for effect), I get sick when I see a TXU return address in my stack of mail. As I open it, it's like life moves in slow motion. My stomach turns and I try not to think about the bile creeping up my throat. And the total due is never on the top fold of the statement. I have to totally take it out of the envelope, unfold it, and search for the amount (peeking and stuffing it back in the envelope would feel so much better, I think).

I have two words for the $296.16 total due: Horse shit.

Scout and I are by no means the most frugal people I've ever met, but we are most certainly not the biggest spendthrifts either. We are happily in the middle, attempting to move to the more frugal side of things. We've recently started replacing burned out bulbs with energy efficient bulbs, turning the heat off at night and while we are at work (which means the heater is on for four hours or less), and turning off every single light when it's not in use. To add insult to injury, I feel sinfully guilty for every second that I bask in the toasty warmth of our house.

So am I doing something wrong, or do some of you battle with this too?

Or maybe it's normal to have a bill that high (I would certainly hope not - I'd like to think that I could do more to make the bill go down - besides insulating the damn attic).

Sarah

How awesome is it to get a package from Sarah in the mail? Really awesome. How awesome is it when when whatever inside is handmade? Radically awesome:


It's perfect. And the other gift she sent is so amazingly gi-normous that I can't even tell you what it is. I almost feel embarrassed that I somehow stumbled on a friend like her (and somehow manipulated her into actually liking me for more than two hours). She has been so supportive in this whole adoption process, and has loved Tucker from the moment there was a slight possibility he could be ours. Even despite the recent loss of her own unborn baby, she has been amazingly wonderful to me.

Sarah, thank you for your contribution in making me the luckiest girl in the world.

America Falling

I'm currently reading this book, written by someone I consider a dear friend. The plot is awesome so far (I can't wait to get further). Here's my favorite excerpt (there will be more to follow, I'm sure):

"Listen to me, you piece of shit. You're gonna die because of those holes I punched in your ass. Then, we're gonna chop your carcass up, feed your heart to the hogs, and bury whatever's left of your punk ass in pig blood. You got that, you worthless little fuck?"

He saw the terrorist slightly stiffen as a result, which made him smile.

"I'm gonna personally fuck up your afterlife, shitbird."

But don't take my word for it - read all the other reviews it's gotten so far. And order a copy already, would ya?

Tucker's Cousin

I thought I'd post a picture of Tucker's younger cousin. My sister is due in June, so they'll only be a few months apart. Look at those tiny little features (compared to Tucker's HUGE nose)!

Nursery Update

My mom sent us a surprise cash gift the other day for baby-or-whatever stuff, so we went to about a million places to buy a crib. Everyone was out, except for WalMart. (We even went to IKEA. Both of the cribs we narrowed it down to were out of stock until next month!)

So here's a picture I felt compelled to take. Scout was not happy:



He also painted an antique piece we got in Germany for a little lamp stand/sock drawer:



Overall, I'm happy with the nursery. Now it just needs a baby.

Not So Girly Interest Meets Girly Craft

Forgive the frumpy appearance of this hunter-fabulous diaper bag; no matter how I positioned it, it looked bloated and irregular. It really looks normal in real life (but this is precisely why I almost never post about my knitting projects - they all take crappy pictures).



It was the first sewing pattern I've worked on since the eighth grade. Considering that, I did pretty well. There were a few emergency phone calls to my mom (the sewing genius), but overall, I did alright.